I presented my proposal a few days ago after been worn-out of waiting for a long queue to reach my turn as I was the 23rd out of 25th to present the overall idea of my research. I would say it was a very tough job since I have to be clear with the research I am going to carry out for the next semester. I got two panels to evaluate my research through presentation and it was real disappointing as I’ve been bombarded with hundreds of questions to justify and clarify certain issue regarding my research. I almost gave up, when I was just about to gear up an initial step for the next steps ahead; but then, I’d to deal with provocative arguments. I tried to tell myself “Okay Ani, come on girl! It’s not the end of the world”. I took their point and they should say no more, whatever it was, I stood on my ground that I go ahead with my topic! Did I sound mean? Please tell me I didn’t.

Before we rang down the curtain on the seventh semester, my lecturer reminded us to come back to IPSAH for eight semester on 3rd January of 2009. I could not believe my ear the moment she announced that we must be in College on 3rd January. It was like she’d dropped a bombshell. Oh God, I’ll be arriving to KLIA from Japan on 2nd January, no time to loosen up a bit, I’ll have to drive all alone for more than five hours to reach Sg Petani to gear up for final semester. I thought there was a loophole in case I may not be able to attend the first day, perhaps I can drive a coach and horses through sending a formal letter, you know, to make an apology and state the reasons of my absence. To make things clear, I asked my lecturer with a very polite way, my voice full of hope to getting the answer I wanted though I could predict what she would response.

“Madam, what if I come back here one day late?”.

As I foretold, she bulged her eyes out of its sockets and she flung a firm voice, she warned me not to have the guts to do it because I’d done it before, otherwise, I‘ll be punished for breaking the rules. No compromise. I just didn’t know what sort of punishment she meant but heard the word “warning” was enough to trigger my resentment to the maximum. I know, everybody assumes I am a very obedient woman, my innocent face offers you that kind of idea, isn’t it? I am actually NOT. I tell you one thing, I never let anyone lead my life and even my husband knows it, he always be the most understanding man in my life, he always gives me freedom in making my own decision and put a trust on me. I hate to deal with the rigid system; I hate to be fit in procedures. Yes, it is true procedures, regulations and rules do not take heed over your personal problem, but why the person who carries out them can’t tolerate and tries to be flexible when certain situation requires it. I thought all people were born with empathy and it’s hard to accept the fact that,


I didn’t pose any further questions after she seemed to be very firm with her warning, but I didn’t totally blame her as maybe, she just wanted to carry out her responsibility. Then, I went back to my hostel to get everything ready for a long-hours-driving. I got the room clean and shipshape since all the rooms must be emptied on that day. I felt extremely weary and I was ready to drop, made me think of my “Bibik”! Nobody was allowed to stay in the hostel longer because there would be other people were going to stay in our rooms. I climbed up and down the stairs from third floor to first floor for more than three times, to take my belongings to be brought home. I only took a few minutes nap before I drove my car back to hometown. I had a non-stop driving for more than five hours without taking any heavy meals, with numerous things jammed in my thinking cap. While my knuckles clutching the wheel, and the left hand adjusting the manual gear, my mind kept floating and flying aloft, somewhere to the other world till I didn’t realize I had already reached my mother-in-law’s house at almost 10 a.m. By the time I hugged my parents-in-law, the feeling of fretfulness seemed to be gone away! The first thing came out from my mouth when we met was,

“Mum, don’t be surprised to see my pimply face, I’ve got so many pimples!!”.

We both laughed. And I instantly dash close to her, gripped her plump shoulder. She cuddled me back like a mama clasping her baby, she rocked my body, and I refused to let go my clinch. I miss her so much! Right after she untied her hug, a prompt words came out, she uttered frankly,

“You look darker, you look thinner, and you’ve got lots of pimple, what happened to you!”.

I just beamed from ear to ear as I could not reply her abrupt remark. I spent about three days at my parent-in-law’s house, until my father-in-law’s birthday came. We’d just celebrated his birthday yesterday by giving a surprise chocolate cake with the wish “Happy Birthday, We love you”. We sang a song while he slicing the cake and my voice was the loudest. He threw a sheepish smile, an endearing one!

I am just as happy as the day is long, I start enjoying a long holiday! I can’t wait to meet my hubby soon! :)