I've been suffering from acne outbreak when I was just got married, in all of sudden, right after I came back from my honeymoon in Japan. At first, I didn’t really be bothered by the sudden change of my face, though I could feel the greasiness with so many protruding specks whenever I touch it for washing or wiping toner all over. I tried to convince myself that it was normal and everybody could have it. Having experience this condition before, made me assume it was nothing to be worried ,the last time was about four years ago and during a long holiday right after SPM finished. The pimples were not really obvious when they began to grow, just like tiny particles of dirt, not in red patches like I’m having now. At times, when lights pour on my face, the pimples look terribly gross! They seem to swell out of the top layer of my skin.

I just couldn’t believe my eyes when millions of sandy blemishes started jutting out bigger and redder, accompanied with yellow pustules scattered anywhere on my face, such as on cheeks, T-Zone, chin, forehead and even up above my lips. And, it was awfully painful especially when I dabbed a few drops of Tea Tree oil on them. That was when I realized it became more serious as before this, the sandy spots went away without leaving any scars. This time, they’re uncontrollably growing so bad, fast, and ending up over-ripe.


I took a bad knock when many had questioned the drastic change of my face. My friends and family were a bit surprised, their eyes nearly popped out of their head when they first noticed the huge different of the latest me. Everyone who's always being around with me especially classmates and friends were the first to tell the appearance of everybody’s enemy, pimples and acne on my face.

I still remember when I dropped by the health center, to scan my body for only 2 ringgit, and then get to know the condition of my body like BMI, fat portion, muscle portion, in details. The result turned out to be satisfying, because she said I am healthy and not need to be worried. But, my BMI is below the normal rate which is 14.5. My height is about 163-164 cm and my weight is 38.6 kg. She advised me to enjoy eating besides taking a lot of proteins to maintain my health. I was not the only who did the body-scan; I was with the other six friends. While we were busily chatting, she intentionally pointing at me and saying,

"You, you have lots of pimples yuh?"

All of my friends turned their eyes on me and burst into laughter till many could hear the laughter all around. We didn’t expect she would say such a thing to me as if pimples are something unusual. She furthered the next question,

“Do you have any problems with your digestion, maybe constipation?”

I quickly said,

“No, I don’t have any problems with defecation, I discharge everyday”.

It was obvious. Among seven of us, she referred to me only, said in a very serious tone that I have lots of pimples. Then, my friends tried to calm me down by saying,

“No, before this, her face is flawless, it just happened recently and suddenly, since she got married”.

I was just smiling there, for nothing funny. Somewhat I didn’t feel hurt or anything because it was true. Can you imagine how my face looks like now? Okay, don’t take a look at the picture that shown my flawless face at side of my blog or in my facebook, my face is not like that anymore. Do you hear me? Don't be deceived by that pic. I nearly died of shame!

I feel like the level of my self-esteem is going down under my feet. I'd changed a lot if you really want to know. I like to avoid putting my eyes into whom eyes is browsing my face while talking to me right at the moment. I refuse to have an eye-contact with strangers. Sometimes, I like to walk bow in shame with feeling drained and emotionally shattered. I am just too shy if people will feel disgusted to see my ugly face. Too embarrass. Too shame. I feel too bad. Miserable about my raging pimples. After that incident, I began to read a lot of articles about acne and pimples, in fact, less reading for my project paper which is much more important. I bought one set of Tea tree facial treatment from BODYSHOP using my husband’s credit card though he was like discouraging me to buy them (I regretted it). I knew, I’d been manipulated by the persuasive advertisement in magazines. Nonetheless, I almost finished half of the bottle when I had to stop using them since the result was so dreadful; my family members alerted me to the terrible look of my skin that changed to reddish and greasy! They forced me to stop using it but I was just too obstinate as a mule, I ignored their advice because I was blindly believed that it was actually the effect of killing bacteria. Until one day, I couldn’t stand the pain; afterward, I got them out of my life, kept the set in my locker.

A year ago, I'd once scanned my face, the scanning was done by the beautician who promoted a facial set under the brand of “Skin Formulation”. The scanner displayed the condition of skin clearly, I could see the pores and follicles deep inside (it's scary!). Then the beautician briefly explained my skin is darker than my original skin as I got countless of permanent pigments due to over-exposure of sunlight, and I could see the soft chocolate-pinkish pigments pasted on my skin through the screen. She said my skin is very sensitive and easily reacted to the certain chemicals to the point I must be very cautious of selecting products for my skin. It’s true, when I apply any products, if it’s too harsh or not suitable for my skin, within an hour, the skin shows an unwanted reactions like blisters, red or peeling. Frankly speaking, I cannot use certain local products like Eriesya, Safi, Nutrimetics, Tia Amelia and many more. It will only aggravate my skin to the worst. Eucerin and Simple are the only products which can suit my skin, though no apparent effects happened; at least no side effects occurred.

Skin formulation is superb! Have you ever heard this cosmetic before? I found this brand when my wedding was near; at that time, I desperately needed something to make my skin glow for my wedding day, you know, one in a lifetime, of course I wanted the best for myself. Then, two months after using it, I got married, so if you want to know how my skin looked like after using this cosmetic, you can see my wedding pictures. It maintained my skin and never caused any side effects so it means the product was okay for my face, most importantly, suitable for sensitive skin like mine. It didn’t come together with toner, I would only need to spray pure rose water after washing. The product is not easy to get as the only place you can get it is in Kuala Lumpur. So, when the cosmetic ran out, I discontinued using it.


Now, I am using Simple Facial wash, because it’s mild for my skin much though it cannot reduce my acne. I like it, it's not too harsh for my sensitive skin. For pimples medication, I am using Acne serum, the product of Secret Garden. It works well though the acne are not completely fading away; it dries the spots without peeling or hurting my skin and slowly reduces my pimples. I think I have found the best one for me, ROSA T acne serum from Secret Garden and Acne serum from Garden of Eden. However, I prefer secret garden's as it’s water-based and more importantly, it makes my face feels light.

My sister had just bought me a facial set comprising of facial wash, toner, moisturizer and blemish gel. Since my Simple is nearly drying out, it’s good to have it at the right time. I am going to use it right after I go back home next week. My sister said the set costs below of RM300 but above RM250. She convinced me it might be suitable for my skin since her skin could accept it. The sensitivity of our skin is almost at the same level, so the outcomes may not be much different. I really miss my flawless skin. I hope I can 'face the world with confidence' later on. Hopefully, my husband won't be surprised to find her wife's face is becoming worst with red patches and scars on this coming December! We have not met for more than 2 months and I 'll be departing for Japan soon ;) .

Now, I can feel how those who are suffering from serious acne feel.Thank God. I learn one thing for sure,