Yeah, it feels like ages I haven’t care about my blog at all, blame my routines, I have countless of things attacking me at one time! You know, I am now in my final semester of six-years-study, the semester is quite heavy and tones of workloads steal my moment in time, if I make myself busy doing unnecessary things, my psyche is like compelling me to get back to my “working” mode. Regrettably, I remain stagnant, no progress, no action, being ignorant though the project paper keeps haunting me whenever I go; even a ghost knows when to stop bothering humans at times! I am just not in a mood of doing academic stuff; I faced mood swing for a couple of times that I prefer sleeping, sleeping and eating way too much! My pimples are still rooting on my face, making my face skin as its habitat, on and off, and I don’t know when it’s going to end (Comfort me now please). I feel rather weird my mood swing began to happen lately, I guess it was caused by sudden hormonal changes.

Well, I am feeling good despite difficulties come across my journey, (bluffing do heals my sadness, forgive me) I still feel contented and in a very high spirits, I should thanks Dr Aid Abdullah for producing a great book “La Tahzan, Jadilah wanita yang paling bahagia”. After I’d spent a few days to reach the last page with full of enthusiasm, I felt like I am the happiest woman on the top of the world!! I  am not kidding!  I am not saying the book will work to you; it’s all depending on you, sincere when reading do helps improving our intrinsic motivation. That’s what I meant. I always spend my time read at least one motivational book in a month because I want to maintain a sense of motivation inside me, everybody wants to be better and better day by day, don’t tell me you don’t!! If you don’t, it may mean either good or bad, or maybe you are stronger than me that you don’t necessitate those books to be positive, don’t compare yourself to me, I know I am not strong, I know I desperately call for motivational books, I know I am lacking here and there. There’s another book coming next, “Lah Tahzan, Untuk wanita bijak bestari”, not as same as I mentioned earlier, this one is real awesome as it tells me how great being a Muslimah is, Islam put a great honour on Muslimah that most women disregard thus, overlook it. At the same time, I am on my half-way delving into “Chicken soup for the soul: Living your dream” (My favourite series) .

Oh, I am just getting a bit better from bad menstrual pain right now, but I still feel uncomfortable. This month’s period is killing me to death, my legs cramped and I could not even get out from my room for two days, my blood were overflowing that I felt so scared to see my blood coming out from my body without stopping! My friends had to bring the food to my room and peep over my door to see whether I am doing fine or not. I did not know why this time turned out to be so terrible, my brother said because I was so stress which I think I am NOT! Perhaps, my mind could take it, but my body just could not take it, consequently it seemed to affect my body. I do really hope that this pain “clean” my past sins. 

My roommate left me alone, she went out from hostel permanently until we finish our study here to be with her husband, they're renting a house, yeah, the house I had rented previously during my practicum when my hubby came last year for one-month-holiday. I am staying alone in a room. Does it sound pathetic! Why everybody keeps leaving me? Sob Sob. Fortunately, yeah, God granted me with something bigger, my hubby will be back very soon!!!  I'll be renting a homestay right after this one-week-holiday till one-week-holiday in March. Yeah!!

I feel like telling to the whole world that my hubby will be arriving KLIA on this Wednesday. Extremely excited that I cannot wait for the day to come. There's something happened in between, happiness in sadness. He had applied for a few part-time jobs but, well, luck was just not on his side that we feel it's okay,  money is something we can find. We learn one thing, if god gives you millions of dollars, remember that He can easily take it in a split of second! I supposed God made it that way to be a reason for him to come back home to Malaysia and meet his wife. We're in the struggle of coping with challenging path we are leading, we need each other by our side. For the time being, we try to convince ourselves, we will try our best, we just accept whatever comes around and look forward. Thank God we are born as a Muslim, Alhamdulillah, we believe in Qada' and Qadar, that's enough for us to see things clearly and with open heart.

Please Ya Allah, I know it's hard for us, we never know how much strenght we have inside,  We know  that You can take everything from us, but please God, Don't take our iman.

AstaghfiruallahalAzim, Allazi La Illa Hailla Anta,  Subhanakainnikuntuminazzalimin, La Hawla Wala QuwwataIllabillah Hil ALiyyil Azim

Done!

First week of final semester of six years of study has gone away, leaving me totally bewildered by the lectures, assignments, presentations and project paper! My head just could not pick up speed as I am not mentally and physically prepared after having so much free times during holidays without thinking even a dust about everything related to my course! I think I need to start my engine now; everybody has pushed a gear while I am just about to insert the key. If you know what I mean here. Oh, how slow I am, pity me! Lately, I almost suffered from fever, A drastic change of weather from winter in Japan to hot sunny Malaysia probably influenced my well-being in a minute, my throat felt a bit uncomfortable like a stone stuck inside my throat, nearly attacked by sore throat then I drank more than 2.0 liter water afterward, took balanced diet by drinking three glasses of soy protein, never miss my lunch and dinner, forced myself to enjoy eating lots of veggies and fruits. Alhamdulillah, now I am feeling much better. Alhamdulilah, so far, I am able to maintain my new lifestyle in full of discipline, I admit I want to lead a healthy life, that's my mission after suffering from acne. It does work in reducing my serious acne! so I keep continuing a good habit I just started.

Recently, I let myself cry a river, sobbed my heart out like there’s no tomorrow. It sounds so horrible, yeah; you can call me crying baby! I hate myself being so weak at the knees; I just couldn’t stand it anymore. There were masses of affairs cramming in my thinking cap, yeah, about my acne, tremendous change of my face really impinge on my emotional in depth. I miss my late sister badly that sometimes I dream about her and I shed tears after I woke up, I swear I saw her face and she’s looking at me. At the same time, I feel so distant from my family, sad of being miles away from my husband and will not see him more than five months; this really tests my inner strengths. It’s a big lie that wife does not need her husband in tough times, tell me whom wife does not need her husband by her side, tell me who? So that I can learn from her. I feel extremely awful thinking about my past sins, I do believe all the difficulties I am coming across is like a kaffarah for me, InsyaAllah. I am facing financial problems, sometimes my parents lend me some money though I never ask for it but they bank in the money without telling me, I felt so embarrassed because I am married! Parents supposed not to give the money to her married daughter but my parents has a great instinct, they know how hard  I am standing  on my foot all alone without anybody here, and of course they want me to finish my study in time. I cannot stop thinking about my hubby’s difficulties who's still struggling for one more year survival in foreign country  without loved ones, Oh God, please look after him for me, please ya Allah.

I should zip my bad mouth now, lately, I grumble too much, I know! Please dear everyone who loves me especially my family members, I know you read my blog, pray for me so that I can go through all these things with ease and calmness. I just want to be a spirited woman again! I really wish to be superbly strong, redha of everything God grants me as I deem, He knows the best for me.

I don’t know what to write here because there’s nothing interesting happens for the time being, I mean I can’t think at all, a sea of deep emotions overcome my rationality in thinking wisely. I should stop bluffing now!

2009 has come to an end, going to expire tomorrow on the dot! Yeah, that means I am getting more mature. Every time the whole world rings out the old year and ring in the new, I positively change the number of my age without waiting for my birthday to come by adding 1 at the two numbers of my age. Like this, to be precise, 23+1 = 24! You got it! 23 plus 1 equal to 24. Yeah! I am 24 years old now! I am grown-up! I am trying to use word "mature" instead of "older" here because it sounds a bit sensitive to a woman though people may say, "Come on, it’s just a number". Don’t tell me that, I just hate that statement. Ah-Ha.

2009 holds significant memoirs in which I was hit by strongest repercussion along with pure reflex. The split turn ensued from tremendous changes all the year around hence 2009 really means a lot to me. I just want to wrap up and to make it short; there were only two big things that really imprinted a deepest blot inside me in 2009.

 

Can you see an unambiguous 'Oxymoron' between those two big things? Marriage-Sweet and Death-Bitter, blended at one time. I don't have to say more. All I can say, I keep on moving and traversing a challenging path ahead in brave no matter what happens; I am going forward. One thing I promise myself, I don’t want to be a defeatist even if I fall flat on my face! Ya Allah, to you I resign myself.

"Oh you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy. Vie in such perseverance, strengthen each other, and be pious, that you may prosper." (3:200)

-New Year-
Twelve months will end 

To begin with twelve months again
Rewind the previous months passed by
As a new year sets up and an old one finishes
We flashback what brought us joy
And what brought us tears
And we introspect ourselves to the deepest of our soul
Reminisce all the sad and happy times,
Recall how they enriched our lives,
We reflect upon who really counts. 

As the spanking new and bright New Year comes
Save new hopes and dreams
Let’s focus on each other’s mission
Together we track a new journey
2010, here we come!

-Okayama-
-31th December 2009-

Gembaku Domu is not the only reason why people all over the world come to Japan since it is included in the UNESCO World Heritage list. One of the sites listed in the World heritage is Miyajima Island. Miyajima is not an ordinary island as its uniquely scenic view never resembles any island on earth; furthermore, the island constitutes the most famous temple in Japan. Therefore, some people regard it as a "temple island" due to the large number of temples around the island. The sight in Miyajima made it rank as one of Japan’s three best views! My husband seemed not to talk much about the place we would be going to. Perhaps he wished to let me witness the panorama on my own and come up with my own perspective without being influenced by his outlook.

By the time we arrived at ferry station for the cross-channel ferry service, I was too thrilled, extremely agitated and very excited that my heartbeat vibrated by leaps and bounds. We spent a few minutes to find an ideal location to park our car, the car which had brought us to a lot of new places of interest. Pity that car! I had to leave her for a while because we must cross over the deep-sea by taking a ferry! The weather was so hot since it was the beginning of autumn, the heat was like penetrating deep into my skin layers and burning inside, much different to the hot weather in Malaysia. My husband got a cap to protect her face; I had none so he bought me a cheap umbrella to keep my mouth shut from complaining all the whole length of our crossing. I was such a wet blanket, I knew. I kept silent then. As there was a horde of people crammed at one place, we had to insert ourselves between the crowds to line up in a long queue just for two tickets!

We finally got in the air-conditioned ferry, rested on the cozy stool just for a few moments as my husband was too raring to stand outside so that we could breathe and smell the air of island not so far away. I kept his mouth shut while trailing his steps to walk off via the ferry access. He chose a strategic space for us. We both stood on our foot at the edge of ferry to enjoy nice view with our arms cuddling each other. We stood still in silence, my cheeks brushing his, the warmth of his hand caressed my waist and Yeah! Feast our eyes on the panoramic scenery. Oh man! Wonderful! Does it sound romantic? Ah-Ha.

As the ferry sailed across the island, we could detect a giant shrine from distance and most passengers became rather impressed, they turned their head over the shrine. It is called O-Tori (The Grande shrine gate). It looked like floating in the water because of the not-so-high tide. That was the biggest shrine I have ever seen in my life! It was a mark that we were about getting there in minutes. The shrines was too huge, stayed stump in garish red that a bull might butt it and die in instant, its red was so bright and flared up just like my emotion gazing at the torii (gate). The island must have becoming so famous because of the shrine which is the symbol of Miyajima Island. The red shrine straddles the bay and leads to the hefty temple gate at the mouth of the same bay. According to their belief, the main building was built over water to avoid offending from God and it consists of many subsidiary shrines and buildings all linked by large corridors and galleries. The island just as clean as a whistle.

As we disembarked from the ferry, we were greeted by a large number of deer along the way. We were a bit staggered at first but then started to realize that the island is actually dwelt by tame deer. If deer are able to understand humans’ languages, I may have taught them to stop seizing and grabbing any food that people are gripping in hands! It is believed that the Miyajima deer have lived on the Miyajima Island for 6000 years. Based on their belief, deer is a messenger of the gods in Shinto (Japanese native religion). They are very well treated by people meaning that nobody should be scared to stroke them. I saw one of the deer snatched a piece of yellow paper from a man and everybody burst into laughter watching the scene. They ate everything seemed delicious in their eyes. I had got the munchies when our tummy began producing a familiar rhythm, I could catch on the sound, and yes! It told me “ La-la-la, you must give me something to eat, la-la-la, I am craving now, la-la-la”! . The sound was so irritating and distracting, forced us to search for a perfect area to have our meal. We stopped over the empty side along the embankment, then we crossed our legs and let them dangling merrily while feeding a mouthful of fried rice. We were absorbed in our eats, in all of sudden, a deer appeared sniveling. Promtply, we hid our food in a plastic bag and on the verge of running a mile, my ticket fell out of my sling bag, she gripped the ticket using his jaws, and munched and gobbled it as if it was so yummy like Dunkin Donuts! I yelled our loud,

“Hey! Oh my God, Abang, she’s eating my ticket!” My husband replied,

“Just let it be, it’s her luck!”

My husband chortled; I just looked daggers at the deer and chuckled. Phew! Thank God the ticket had been used beforehand as a by-pass to get access to primary temple, so I didn’t need it. I still coveted it for a sentimental-value purpose though!

We paced through the walkways of the primary temple and cut through a group of visitors whom accent showed they came from China. We found countless glistening coins slipped everywhere in between plywoods of the temple’s wall that might come from those who made wishes. As a Muslim, we don’t have to do that, we can just pray at anywhere at any time without donating a penny to our God. If we fancy to do so, we can donate the pennies to poor people or people in need. It was such an eye-opener that different religion has different way of praying, yet we must respect the differences. Actually, Miyajima has been attacked by an incredible typhoon, so renovation has been made to make it operate like now.

In order to buy some souvenirs, we had a poke around the row of shops there. We took a stroll along one of the island’s charming walking path through walking trails which surrounded with seaside town areas, the path cut through the island’s forest and offers beautiful views on the town. Suddenly we realized we lost our tripod case, we had a toing and froing all over, unfortunately, we didn’t stumble on it.



We went back home in the dark of night, worn-out, fit to drop and we slept like a log. The day after, we suffered from feet ache!

Now these questions are not new. War, in one form or another, appeared with the first man. At the dawn of history, its morality was not questioned; it was simply a fact, like drought or disease -- the manner in which tribes and then civilizations sought power and settled their differences.~ Barack Obama

Each country possesses its history, holds its respective chronicle. Bitterness, sweetness, happy and sorrow, all are blended and unified to construe History. History itself tells the origin of one’s country no matter how great or weak the country is, a matter of life and death, history of one’s country introduces what Patriotism is all about. The word patriotism initially comes from a Greek word meaning fatherland. For most of history, love of fatherland or homeland was an attachment to the physical features of the land. (Http://Wikipedia.com). In other word, according to Merriam Webster Dictionary, Patriotism means love for or devotion to one's country. Patriotism is responsible for the born of spirit inside us which sets off our willingness, our enthusiasm to do anything for the sake of our motherland to the bitter end.

My apology; I have no intention to open the history of my own country, probably because I am jaded enough, tired of political turbulence that led by cronyism, to make matter worst, it is supported by media propaganda. I hate being in a state of turbulence, being powerless and helpless , at the same time I hate being compelled and forced to nod my head over bureaucracy despite the fact that I hate and piss off with it. You can regard me as a rebellious person. I don’t speak out loud but I do rebel in silent mode. Not afraid to admit I am one from millions who wish for positive changes of my country, if not for me but for my children in the future. Sorry if I’m sound like crying foul.

I am not a Japanese/nihongo; I am not a supporter of communism, neither a fighter of rising sun country- Japan. Nevertheless, I am just a naive vacationer in this foreign country. Before this, I never get awakened to the suffering of ancient Japanese resulted from the tragic downfall took place in 1945 during World War II long time ago, until I stepped my own foot on Hiroshima land. The land that rich of lessons about the death of innocents, the land which tells us War does not bring any good. I am anxious to recall great lessons I attained during my journey to Hiroshima. What happened to Hiroshima was like a death-blow.

Our journey to Hiroshima from Okayama only takes 3 hours in exact if using Highway. In order to cut our expenditure, to save some money for paying toll so we chose 5 hours road that has no toll. Soon after we arrived, we parked our car to have our lunch to supply energy for a non-stop long journey we were going to occupy. Then we had a look at the most famous landmark in Hiroshima which resembles the function of A-Famosa building as a landmark in Malacca. It is called the Atomic Bomb Dome ("Gembaku Domu" in Japanese). Your trip throughout Japan won’t accomplish if you don’t pay a visit to Hiroshima where the first nuclear bombing mission in the world occurred.

“Gembaku Domu" situated next to the Aioi river. According to history, when the bomb blew up, thousands of badly burned residents threw themselves into the rivers to relieve the pain. Unfortunately, most of them didn't stay alive, they died instantly, and therefore there were hundreds of corpses floating in the river. This is a center of attraction for tourist from all over the world. Why does it significant to Japan in the first place? This was one of the few buildings left standing within a two kilometer (one and a quarter mile) radius of the explosion. It's remarkable that anything of the building survived at all, because it's estimated that the shock wave from the bomb created a pressure of 35 tons per square meter at the hypocenter. (Richard Seaman, 2009). No wonder Gembaku Domu is inscribed on the World Cultural Heritage list.

In order to learn more about the history of Hiroshima, we dropped by nearby museum, The Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum which offers brief information of the world war II in details as well as exhibits all the things related to World War II. I had to move in and out of the crowd of Mat Saleh who were much taller than me, peeped and peered apprehensively through the crack of their armpits at the color-screen which played the history of World War II. All I really remember, there’s a story of Albert Einstein narrated in the short film. Right at that very moment, I threw one question to myself, Should I blame Albert Einstein for his formation of atomic bomb? For your knowledge, Einstein sent a letter to the President Franklin D. Roosevelt to inform the efforts in Nazi Germany to purify U-235 with which might in turn be used to build an atomic bomb.

I put the sequence of the history in a very short and simple chain like this. One August 6, 1945, a uranium bomb nicknamed "Little Boy” was dropped on Hiroshima. Though It missed by only 800 feet, thousands people were killed and badly injured in instant. Then, on August 9, Nagasaki was the second target where plutonium bomb nicknamed “fat boy” was dropped. In 10 August 1945, Japan surrendered. Don’t ask me why the bomb got a very cute nickname. Oh, Drat that "little boy"! Drat that "fat boy"!

Camera was not allowed, so the vivid images could only be recorded in my memory. The museum was quite large that I spent more than one hour wanders indoors. Many goods and chattels left by war victims put on show in the glass wall. There was a bicycle of a kid remained half-collapsed; the kid was on the way coming back from school when bomb suddenly killed him. Ragged shirts which were the shirts worn by bomb victim hung over, and even skin chips of dead victim were displayed there!! Yucks! It surprised me when I saw a thumb of the victim lay on a piece of wood! I swear it’s a real thumb that has been preserved so it’s still in a mint condition! Every passer-by would stop at halt with their eyes nearly popped out of their head looking at that thing. Half-burned of the stack of paper money was also one of the historical remains. I could not forget the statue of walking people with their skins melting like a burning candle due to chemical reactions of the nuclear. It looked real and scary!

The view of Hiroshima before the bomb dropped was totally different like cheese and chalks. Just imagine a city like Kuala Lumpur turns into ashes. How is it? I saw some of the Japanese visitors dropped their jaws and sniffed tears; perhaps they were bemoaning the suffering of their ancestors. I was also on the verge of tears but I didn’t cry, evaded from blushing if my hubby spots me weeping! The impact of the World War II have left great effects mentally, physically and spiritually especially to Japanese.


That might be a turning point for Japan to rise and bring back to life again and you can see now; Japan is one of the richest countries, well-developed country in the world.

Finally, I reached the exit of the museum where a long table embedded to wall lining up along the path, at the hidden corner, there was a log book provided especially for visitors to leave their last notes, comments, feedback or anything they want to say. I opened the book, I learnt that written responses came from many races from many countries like Germany, Indonesia, Netherlands, Thailand, Australia and many else. Perhaps I was the first Malaysian writing down something in that book. I didn’t remember exactly how many words I wrote, but almost half of the page filled with my ugly handwriting. Suddenly my husband was like insinuating me, followed by a cheeky smile.

“As if you want to write a long essay here, do you?” I put the final full stop after finishing the last few sentences.

We went out from the museum and crossed over the historical area, Peace Memorial Park. This was previously an urban district called Nakajima. In 1603-1868, it’s like Selat Melaka where business and trades became the main purpose of a thriving commercial center. As the Edo era ended, then appeared Meiji Era from 1868 till 1912 that made it as the political, administrative and commercial heart of Hiroshima. It is believed that about 6.500 people lived in this district at the time of the atomic bombing, nearly all the lives were snuffed out as the whole district vanished after the Little boy dropped.

We then continued our journey to Miyajima Island! Bye-bye Hiroshima, thanks a lot for teaching us that we must ban WAR! Peace-No-War!

Martin Buber

Mitsui Park, Osaka is the first place I stopped over in Japan. This is the shopping mall where I got a pair of sexy wedges as my hubby was too eager and fervent to buy something for me, I don’t know why but perhaps he upheld the intention to redeem a few months of separation, he’s like forcing me though I refused to grab any at first because it’s expensive thus I didn’t want to waste his money for nothing. Ah-ha, trust me, sometimes; women just couldn’t resist the temptation of nice clothes, nice shoes, anything nice! I took one then. Right at that very moment, I took off the old mine by shoving it into the new-shoes box, and put on the new one. It’s not easy to put on this shoe hence I needed my hubby’s fingers to hook the sandal string on my ankle. pOp! It felt like a pretty Cinderella walking down the street and losing one of the wedges on the steps of the escalator unexpectedly, then waiting for the prince to come and put the lost one on my feet, and then married me! (day-dream) Whoa! It’s true what Monolo Blahnik, who’s a founder of the self-named, high-end shoe brand had ever once said “Yes, only a shoe, but if I provide escape for the woman who wears it, if for only a few minutes, it brings a bit of happiness to someone, well, then, perhaps, it is something more than a shoe”. Agree? I always believe that good selection of sandal always looks pretty on every girl’s feet.

Hey there! "The foot is an erotic organ and the shoe is its sexual covering," wrote William A. Rossi, a podiatrist, in The Sex Life of the Foot and Shoe.


At that time, the mall was offering women, men and kid clothes, sports equipment and etc at low prices, there was a big sale as discount tags were flaunting all over. From the 3rd to 5th floor, all sorts of fashionable skirts, gowns, blouses, heels and many else occupied each corner; this terribly tested my unfathomable desire of having all those stuff in my closet! It looked like an ordinary mall that failed to attract me a great deal, probably because my purse contained not even a penny which is really good actually! I was able to restrain my shopping habit. We did spend neither much time nor money at that mall since there’s a lot more places of interest were waiting for us.


My husband told me that one of his friends did his ‘akad nikah’ here and the imam was an Arabian. My memory flashed back the moment I was declared as a wife in Masjid Kanchong darat in a small town of Banting, it’s bigger and lots of muslims stream down the arch. Unlike Kobe Muslim Mosque, not so many people inside. Every time my eyes met a few comers, they greeted me with “Assalammualaykum”, something we should have practiced in Malaysia. At the entrance of the mosque, there was a picture, black and white, beautifully framed, yet not so eye-catching. However, it defined the history of the mosque in a very unambiguous image. It showed the picture of mosque which obviously remained strong and well-built, surrounded with ashes of collapsed buildings after been attacked by bombs during World War II. The building survived in fact most of the nearby buildings turned into ashes. I was completely impressed. MasyaAllah! I left the mosque with an introspective kind of feeling deep down inside; I don’t know how to describe it, tongue-tied.

This picture of Kobe Mosque was taken in 1945 after the bombing of the Second World War. It was considered a safe haven by the Japanese military who would shelter in the basement during Allied bombing raids. (http://www.kobemosque.org/)


Alhamdulliah, countless praises be upon HIM, the Almighty One for allowing us to delight in the bounties from God.

At times, I couldn’t conceal my envy towards some of my ex-schoolmates who are going to the places out of our country for furthering study, building up career or having a vacation. The reason is simple. I never got to it. Though I was born in United Kingdom but nothing remains fresh in my memory. When I first knew my husband would be studying abroad, I divulged to him how jealous I was. I had once told him I really wanted to go there, and then he convinced me to bring me there on the day we were called as husband and wife. He never breaks his promise. He married me and he brought me here. The moment I landed my foot in Kansai Airport, Osaka, I couldn’t believe it was really happening. It was like you were throwing yourself into your imagination, then been trapped there at the same time you wouldn’t wish to be returned to reality. I nearly forgot that it was a reality.

Kansai Airport is one of WORLD'S BEST AIRPORT IN 2009, plus it won the category of the cleanest airport washrooms (LONDON - 9th June 2009). It is an international airport situated on an artificial island in the middle of Osaka Bay, 38 km southwest of Ōsaka Station, off the shore of the cities of Sennan and Izumisano and the town of Tajiri in Osaka Prefecture, Japan.The World Airport Awards™ are based on the results from 8.6 million questionnaires completed by airline passengers in 2008/9, covering more than 190 airports worldwide (LONDON - 9th June 2009). I am proud to see KLIA is one of them! ;)

I learnt the specialty of this airport is it has the longest airport terminal in the world, at a total length of 1.7 km from end to end. It has a sophisticated people mover system called the Wing Shuttle, which moves passengers from one end of the pier to the other.


There I was, in Kansai Airport, stood unaccompanied with an apprehensive looking face. I was detained by a guard who could only speak Japanese for not filling in the provided yellowish form which most of questions spotlighted about Influenza. Then, I’d to scan my face with both left and right point fingers passed the green laser. I put a smile as soon as I came out the main entrance up to waiting area, I was so confident he was there to smile back to me. I hate him the moment I realized I was smiling alone like an idiot. I thought I was in a wrong side.I eyed around to capture the shape of a man to welcoming me with all smiles that I miss dearly. The last time, he left me all smiles after pulling me over his chest to allow my lips touch his cheeks. Excitement moved into a bit of anger. He wasn’t there.

Did he know I was frozen in the flight for more than 5 hours, waiting for his hands to warm me? And his smile to cheer me up? There’s a bucket of Kentucky Fried chicken I bought before I entered the boarding gate and I held it everywhere I went.

I followed my feet approaching the glassy door which connected to the twin building. I stopped on my foot when I felt someone tapped my shoulder, I turned my head. It was a policeman! He showed his tag to prove that he was a real policeman. I got jitters that I almost told him that yes! I am a foreigner, you can see from a piece of cloth on my head, but please, let me go, I don’t bring any drugs and I am not an illegal foreigner. Please. Let me go. I was just too speechless to say even a word.

“You speak Japanese or English?”. God, I heaved a sigh of relieve he wasn’t speaking Japanese like the guard who had stopped me before.

“No, I can only speak English”. I replied to him with a very clear voice.

His English sounds Japanese while my English sounds Malay. Yet, he was quick on the uptake of my words while I was so slow on the uptake of his. He had to repeat the same words for many times to make me understand. A few minutes after the short conversation, he let me go with some of my details he wrote in his tiny notebook. How I wished my husband comes and saves me, chases the police away at that very moment. Once again, I hate him for not coming.

I managed to take a seat at two rows of blue cuisine just behind me. I took one beside three men next to me. They were busily talking about the things I couldn’t catch on. From their accent, they were from somewhere in Thailand. I was like a kid lost her mama. My eyes stared at the lift which has transparent wall, it"s going up and down. At the same time, my palm rest under my chin. Blur and confused. I didn’t really count how many minutes flew by till he appeared at my left side.

“Sorry, sorry, I lost my way dear”.

“I’ve been waiting all alone for so long”.

My husband grabbed my hands, held them tight, kissed and hugged before leading me to my dream car. The car which I`d never imagined I would sit inside it. Caldina.

I pray one day the car will be shipped off to Malaysia, InsyaAllah :), for the time being, our financial condition is not stable enough so we just put hope against hope.

I think I should write down something about my sojourn in Japan, more beneficial than frittering away an ample time of hanging about our humble abode during jolly nippy winter with nothing to do. I spend most of my days sitting on a foldaway sofa which I call “a bi-functional fitting” as it can be used for more than one function, not only as a seat but you can also unfold it for a single bed. The good thing is, it fits two of us because we are not too huge for the size. If we want to save the space, we can just fold it back to sofa. That thing takes most of the space of our tiny little house if it spreads out into a mattress that we have to cross it over by stepping our foot on it to reach the toilet. Can you imagine how small our humble abode is? It’s so small! I should have hid that sofa somewhere because it's like calling me to take forty winks especially during winter. There's no space left for it.

This time we don’t go anywhere except around the city of Okayama where my hubby is still studying at full stretch. Traveling in Japan requires a lot of money; the cost of living here is very high so if you really want to have a trip in the region of Japan, make sure your pocket full of cash. 100 yen equals to 3 ringgit Malaysia.

Recently, we legged it to Undokuen in Okayama city of Japan, it’s a recreation ground for the local residents to stretch their legs, or do any recreational activities. It only takes about ten minutes cycling from our house. A special path is provided along the road for cyclists to traverse from one place to another place. Cycling is what they prefer rather than driving, they don’t have to be worried as the facilities are efficient thus makes their life easier. It seems such an ordinary view to see a bunch of cyclists waiting for a green light to cross over the road. What a healthy life they have! Machines for purchasing sorts of drinks are seen anywhere, Japan will never leave you dehydrated.

As my feet put a step on the sidewalk, my eyes cannot stop exploring the beautiful scenery. I couldn't believe my eyes, I took my breath away. I got a bit annoyed while throwing a deep gaze to my hubby and said, “It’s so beautiful, you said all the leaves had fallen down, are you kidding me dear!”. The autumn leaves were not yet fading away. Recalling the beautiful scene for several times gave me an idea to come up with this poem.


This poem depicts the gorgeous scene I experienced which made me wonder how and why a fall leaf changes color from a summer to invite the coming of winter. Where do the yellows, red, brown and oranges come from? I am just extremely contented to experience this period because it does not last long. This period called FALL.

I found out from a few articles about FALL that when summer finishes and autumn arrives, the days become shorter and dry. This is how the trees "know" to instigate preparing and get ready for winter. During this season, light and water for photosynthesis are not enough to cater the need of the trees. The trees will have a break or a rest, and live off the food they stored during the summer. They begin to stop the cycle of making food. As a result, the green chlorophyll goes away from the leaves. As the bright green withers away, that is when we start to see yellow and orange colors. Why we can't see them in the summer, because they are covered up by the green chlorophyll. This is what make the stunning colors we take pleasure in the FALL.

I won’t let go the chance of basking in the beauty of the FALL so I dropped by every few seconds of walking every time we felt like snapping our camera. We found too many spectacular spots to capture our moment together; it felt like we were still in the mood of honeymoon. The wintry atmosphere pulled us to stick like glues, hugging and holding hands while meandering along the park. There’s only one word to represent my amazement, and the word is Subhanallah. An utter incredulity! If this is called world, what’s more in heaven! Here are some shots we took.

I can’t believe I am blogging now while my husband is sleeping like a baby here beside me, I am not feeling dozy at all, and I am as fresh as a daisy. I am over the moon with my life that I wish time flies by slowly so that I won’t be coming back home very quickly; I don’t want to be distant from my husband again. I won’t meet my husband for over six months next year, most probably, more than that. It’s hard for me. I bet married couple will definitely know how bad I feel. It sounds weird when husband and wife are not capable to get together in fact they should by norm of life. What's the point of getting married, isn't it? Bear in mind, married it's not only about living together. I am saying this to myself okay.

I arrived in Japan last week, it’s my second time being here but this time is different as I won’t be spending sum of cash for traveling like we did before because we’re running out of money. We’re not made of money, you know! How I wish I have money to burn. Somebody please stop me now, yell at me- Ani, I don’t want to hear grumble from you!

I am a full-time housewife now, execute a lot of experiments playing with a ladle and cooking pots and you know what, yes! It’s cooking!! My mum never forces me to get into the kitchen, nevertheless soon after I was called a wife, I realize a wife should discern why kitchen does matter to women. Every day, I let myself devote to kitchenette. Sometimes, we spend most of our quality time staying at home and having a stroll around Okayama to eye beautiful scenery you will never witness in Malaysia. It’s winter now, trees begin to lose its leaves before snowing.

We’d just received a letter, my husband got a part time job at nearby post office after went through an interview. Alhamdulillah, we really need more money for the time being. He will initiate doing his part-time job from 10 pm until 6 am by next week, it’s actually a temporary job which will be finished at the early of January. I am enduring with a mix feelings, I know he's happy with the job, I don't know what kinds of feelings inside, but it's clear that I cannot imagine myself lying in bed with an empty side next to mine during nighttime. For how long I should encounter with this situation, I don’t know. I raise this question to him for hundred times, he will still give me the same answer, perhaps it never changes,

One day left before I’m off to Japan again, to spend the quality time together with my hubby, and I may possibly forget about blogging for a while. Sorry to say I may be ignoring my blog though I am really sure my blog doesn’t have readers, but I don’t mind, I am writing because I like it, it’s kind of therapy for me that makes my days better as I have something to channel my ideas, thoughts, feelings and etc instead of burdening my mind with lots of things that would only drive me insane!

Eidul Adha has just passed by. This year, Eidul Adha was a blessed for me! It’s an ideal time for family gathering as all of my family members got holiday thus able to go back to hometown. I met all of my siblings and we loitered at the back of our bungalow, with a spectacular scene of coconut trees all around, chatting until dawn without a full stop with an array of topics that continuously exchanged from one another, from education to politic, from politic to psychology, from physchology to economics, then culture to business and so on. With so many foods served on the dining table, there was no space to add more cuisine. The table was already occupied with cheese cake (Ulfa, you forgot to give me the recipe you’d promised me), meat soup, rendang, Chocolate cake, fruit-jelly, spaghetti and many more, the food were ready to be gobbled up. We really enjoyed putting on more weight. We just could not resist them! Seventh heaven! It’s such a waste to let the food untouched, isn’t? Okay. I should stop talking about food or my hubby will become green-eyed monster while reading this. He’s starving and hibernating under the blanket there, eating the same dishes for three days in a row. That’s why I cannot stop myself from devouring everything I want before I board the plane to Japan. There will be a shortage of Malaysian and Halal food!

I have to meet my parents-in-law tomorrow to reconfirm about my leave-taking on Tuesday. I haven’t done backpacking yet! I need to jot down the list of stuff to be brought along so I won’t miss anything later on. I feel like wanting to take along the whole room, come on, girls are like that! Girls always have more things than boys. Men don’t need sanitary pad and bra! Girls normally change their undergarment at least twice a day, how about you men? How many times you change your boxer shorts in a day?Or in a week? :P It’s a time for researchers to carry out a survey pertaining to this issue; don’t you think it’s interesting? Woops, sorry (Don’t let your kids read this, censored!).

Okay,now,I have just received my hubby's SMS, he won't call me tonight because Arsenal is going to rule the field! Football and men, please don't separate them. Okay dear, enjoy watching the match, I won't bother you tonight :) wink wink. I know your eyes are sticking to the TV screen right now, and waiting to scream GOAL!!