I just finished preparing power point presentation for individual assignment which covers 40% of total mark under the subject “Linking Theory to Practice in the Language Classroom”. Mr Nukman, the lecturer, wanted us to finish all the presentation by this week prior to our practicum. I can’t wait to do the presentation, then going to practicum and get started with project paper, it’s not that I am so flaring up, but I just want to complete it quickly. Wait too long causes extreme exhaustion. I hate wrestling with such feeling- Exhausted.

This afternoon, around 11.30 am, my partner- Jihan and I got to have face-to-face with our mentor teacher who came from SMK Tunku Ismail as we have been given a chance to meet our mentor teacher and did ice-breaking session before practicum begins. Her name is Zakiah who is a 52-years-old English teacher. The smile of her face with her hands raised up, waving at us when my school was called by Madam Shirley greeted us the first time our eyes met in Bilik Makmal Ilmu. She was appointed in holding a responsibility to guide us throughout our practicum. We had some conversation regarding the school. She told me the direction of the school from IPSAH. It is situated not too far from my hostel; nevertheless, the journey requires me to get obstructed with the hustle-bustle of morning traffic jam as I have to go through the heart of Sg. Petani before reaching the school which is located in the middle of housing area.

I couldn’t forget when she said “I love teaching!”. I began to wonder, she has been working as a teacher over the past twenty years, yet it didn’t make her feel bored to further teaching career till she decided to get retired at 58. I should amend my mind-setting after been awed to see her spirit is still flaming. I start to love teaching. Yes, I am going to love teaching. By hook or by crook, I have to love teaching because this is what I am going to do. I must love what I am doing.

I have no intention to be boasted or sound so over-confident; I think I can cope with the school environment since I have experienced teaching in secondary school for almost two months during my semester break about two years ago. It took place in SMK Telok Panglima garang, in close proximity to Klang, where my parents-in-law live. I got the job as a temporary teacher since my mum’s friend is working as “Penolong kanan 1” there so she pulled a few strings to get me into the school. I taught Science subject upon her request.

I put a lot of effort in struggling for the best by doing daily revision at night in order to be well-prepared for tomorrow’s classes. I got A in Science subject for my PMR and SPM so they might be a credit for me to be given a responsibility to teach Science subject. I could not reject it as that was the only subject offered since the teacher was taking a leave due to giving birth.

I got about RM1000 for one-month-salary as "guru sandaran", it was not too precious as compared to valuable memories obtained. I began to realize being a teacher is not as easy as people always think. Please, stop thinking that teaching is not challenging and hard like other professionals ' jobs if you have such perception. That was my first experience in teaching formally. The difference compared to practicum is that I was not observed by anyone to give a feedback and grade according to my performance. It was quite unbelievable when I could control the class though some of the classes consisted of problematic students.

At the last day of my teaching, I received a bunch of gifts and some of the students captured my pictures. All I can remember, they told me that

“ takde teacher mcm teacher sebelum ni, cikgu sebelum ni tau bg nota, buat keje and kalau kitorang tak paham buat taktau je tapi cikgu lain”.

I used to reminisce how stressful I was at that moment. Drops of tears streamed down over my cheeks at the early days of my teaching resulted from pressure that I never expected to be real tough. The money was not my main concern when I first entered the school; all I did was inserting a “sincere heart for teaching because of HIM”. Therefore, I haven’t stop teaching for the whole month.

Actually, I was planning to rent a house for one month and waited the answer from the owner who is my lecturer, madam Bebe. Late in the evening, Madam Bebe rang me up to inform me that I could not get the house, she told me earlier that there was somebody else desired to rent the house for one year. Of course, the way she talked, I knew she preferred that one-year-rent. As I predicted, she gave the house to one-year-renting however she promised me to find another house. Her generosity to lend me a hand in finding a renting house is very much appreciated as she does not need to do so. That is my problem, not hers, maybe she felt a bit guilty for not renting the house to me. I was sad at first but I didn’t blame her. It is her right to choose anyone she prefers to rent her fully-furnished house. I desperately need the house because my husband will be coming back to Malaysia from Japan on this September so we wish for spending the limited times of living together. The problem is I am now staying in Kedah so he has to come here.

Speaking of living together, I always imagine that I go to school every day and he plays a role as a housewife then. Okay. Change it to househusband. I've been serving to my husband, i mean, being a housewife during one month of staying in Japan though I am neither very good in doing households nor an expert of serving delicious cooking; at least I try my best in treating him. Fair, isn’t it? Both of us would get to know how does it feels managing home tasks when spouse has to go away for working purpose. Every time I go off sleeping at night, I dream how blissful my life would be to be reunited again. See you darling! The time is coming soon :).