Posted by ainul ilyani

In the name Of Allah, the most Beneficent, most Merciful


I was rather shilly-shallied of exposing my personal details at first; probably I used to be private kind of person, being uncomfortable if persons surround me would throw negative perceptions after knowing a few chapters of my life story. Frankly speaking, I am so terrified if you would judge me through my piece of writing. However, I guessed I was wrong when I was thinking about human life, realized human life is about sharing. We are sharing the same air, the same skies, the same sun, the same moon and myriads of things we frequently take for granted whether we realize it or not. Isn’t it? So I initiated my mind-setting with this rhetorical term- "Let's sharing". I decided to convert a little bit of my personal lives into words via this virtual space on the basis of “let’s sharing”. I never put a hope against hope to grab anyone’s attention to drop by my page then eventually become frequent readers afterward. No! The main reason I turn to account this space is to say something regarding to human lives, no matter it may signify either big or little impact, or probably pack of nonsense here and there. This page is making headway due to my need of having a medium to channel whatever stuck in my brain. I should pay my gratitude to those who are sincerely scanning my page although in a glimpse, or in a split of seconds, thanks a lot. Your visit here is very much appreciated and welcomed. Sorry for incorrect use of English lexis and obvious grammatical errors in my site. To tell the truth, I am not an accomplished linguist. Not also proficient in English. I told myself how I value my guts to jot everything down using English language. I am slogging my guts out in writing using non-native language, and sometimes I completely on the edge of making mistakes.

Real me

In a small city a thousand miles West of United Kingdom, I was born on 20th May 1986 in Royal Berks Hospital Reading, County of Berkshire where I'd embarked on initial gulp of air for breathing. Most whites were originated here nevertheless I was not one of them, proudly confessing my flesh and blood rooted in Asia. I couldn’t resist the fact that born at foreign country didn’t leave any memories in my lifetime. Not even a dust. At that time, I was too small to remember things, entirely absent-minded. My body was there but my memory wasn’t really there indeed. After my age reached three-years-old, I went back to Malaysia. I determined on relentless survive in West of Malaysia of East region, through my enduring faith on Almighty God, struggling for my goals to complete a well-planned mission which is to make myself useful to human race. I am an English teacher, teaching is not my sole career I always praying for before, unexpectedly  I fell into this field. Nonetheless, I made promise to myself, teaching profession will permanently remain as my top priority, once I left my first footstep on this track, I won’t go out of it. As I believe, where there’s life there’s hope.

My full name is Ainul Ilyani Abdul Aziz, the name was given by my respective parents shortly after double days of my existence in transitory Earth. You shall want to know what is Ainul Ilyani actually means, do you? After I'd been referred to Arabic dictionary since my name is based on Arabic language, I’d found “Ainul” symbolizes “eyes” while “Ilyani” denotes “highness”. So, the overall definition is “highness of eyes”. I am insisted to be called by my nickname “Ani” which brought the fine connotation of “politeness”. I really wanted to be recognized by this common name. It’s easily pronounced with a short syllables, ǽnı (It sounds simple and familiar, yet pretty heavy to me due to its meaning).

I have a very big family andI am neither the youngest nor the eldest of ten siblings, but the fifth of an affluent Half Malay-Javanese family who enjoys living life in simplicity. I’m steadfast and dare to say I am a high- principled girl. Still, I am infinitely flexible and able to adjust when survival depends on it. I believe rhythm and songs come together, never be separated till the end of the world. It won’t happen as long as music is everybody’s life. I’ am listening to all kinds of tunes, occasionally lend my ears to it according to my mood; I dip into the lyrics more than rhythm. I love Rock! I prefer pastel colour rather than garish ones despite my friends say pastel colour doesn’t suit me well. World is full of colours. Isn’t it? So I love various range of colours! I always keen on good books. We’ve got countless brilliant writers and authors all over the world! No time to read all. I cover my head because God declared it’s a must for women. I feel secure with hijab thus it protects me from dangerous of UV rays. Television is my other source of entertainment besides internet, I’ am a dying fan of Oprah Winfrey Show! Channels of choice are Hallmark, Star World and AXN.

I absolutely hate cheap flirting as I believe dignity is something you have to keep with great care. I remain loyal and stick to one man only, my husband named Muhamad Fahmi Mohd Noor- He’s a man of my life. I take anyone to my bosom excluded back-stabbing ones and those are high and mighty. I always yearn for “ukhwah fillah Abadan abada”, I believe when humans’ relation is tied in the name of God, for the sake of silaturrahim, accompanied with trust, sincerity and honesty, it would last forever and blessed.


Begun my elementary education in Taski Ummu Sakinah located in a small, not a well-known town of Banting (the name of kindergarten acquired its name from my mother’s whilst my father was an active ABIM (Angkatan Belia Islam Malaysia- Non-government Organisation) member in district of Kuala Langat at that time). Honestly confessing, I didn’t know how to spell “b-a-l-l” till I went to Islamic Primary School of ABIM in Kajang at age seven. Then, we moved to Bandar Baru Bangi and lived there for six years. Reading seemed not as complex as I persistently thought. I was eventually able to be au fait with ABC at latish age, seven-years-old. I’m not a clever girl!! Astoundingly, I was frequently surrounded with intelligentsia. It grounded me in putting up with low self-esteem anxiety! I just couldn’t help. I am still in quandary how to deal with it. Yellow school bus has been my vital transport to fetch me up to and fro every morning and evening during my primary-school periods. Every time I flash back those childhood years, yellow cracked bus would spring to my mind, an Indian driver whom hands were like bags of bones seated on front seat, his buckles kept pulling the big steering-wheel, and honked when the cars were blocking its way. I rode this bus for six years; made my mind depicts the vivid image of the bus. I returned to my small hometown in Banting and studied in SMK Telok Datok at age 13-years-old, spent three years in the course of studying there until I’d been finally moved to SMKA Maahad Hamidiah Kajang after received PMR result. I was there for two years. This was the first time I’d been far from my family as I stayed in the hostel. I like this school badly. If you ask me why do I like this school very much? It has very long answers, Hey, I met my husband there (Of course, that’s the main reason), Other than that, reciting Mathu’rat every evening in Khalaqah freshly whizzing in my sense of hearing till now, meeting friendly buddies whom IQ and EQ were outstanding, taking bath in huge-brick-squared-tank shared by more than 20 peoples with only a pair of kain sarung to cover my whole body driven a slight embarrassment at first, the feeling reduced day by day, lining up queue for taking up meals were tiring and tested your patience especially when your stomach started making weird sounds like “BBrrrr”, performing praying in large group in Musolla and Mosque . We’ve got to listen to Nasyid only especially Mirwana- (school nasyid group). There, loads of sweet memories engraved, now embedded in the fold of history, draw enigmatic smile whenever I think of them.

I underwent severe winds of change in my former school. I didn’t obtain string of A’s in my SPM; fortunately I was offered to further my studies in Sultan Abdul Halim Teachers Training Institution and Sultan Idris Education University under the scholarship provided by Ministry of Malaysia education, it`s actually a twinning-programme which aimed to produce excellent teachers. I couldn’t forget the time I sat for INSAH (A test for eveluating self-interest in teaching) Exam, answering more than hundred questions within half an hour. Thank God, all were MCQ questions! Then, I went through an interview. Those two important scenes took place in University of Malaya. You know what kind questions were asked? Why do you want to be a teacher? (I forgot what my answer was, if you ask me now, I would say I love sharing!). What are the criteria of a good teacher based on your understanding? (Forgot already, all I know, I haven’t got a clear clue). How many children would you like to have? "I want to have more than five children” (hey, I have to answer it spontaneously, I don’t actually state the exact numbers of children I wish to have). Why did I dress like that? (At that time I was wearing a suit of baju kurung borrowed from my elder sister, with half cleft both right and left on the top, with frills behind the bottom cloth). I told them, “oh’ this is the fashion I have created on my own" (I felt so silly). During the interview, most of the questions asked seemed unpredictable; the good thing they didn’t require critical thinking skill, common-sense sorts of questions, you know, everybody can answer them easily. University and schools were like chalks and cheese! Likely different, it’s hard for me to cope with the system as I have to go extra miles; occupied in learning specific course. Alhamdulillah, I hold a degree of Bachelor Education in TESL.

Family Background

Sakinah @ Che' Nah Binti Sha'ari is my beloved mother. My mother was graduated with a Bachelor Degree of Malay Literature and held a Diploma of education from University Of Malaya after ended up her secondary school at Sekolah Seri Putri, Kuala Lumpur. She comes from North state of Kedah, very famous of greenish paddy field which lying in tranquil therein. She was raised in the midst of hustle-bustle Alor Star, the heart of Kedah, where cabbies like to promote their services in “Pekan Rabu” vicinity. The most mouth-watering meal she can cook is Laksa, my much-loved food. She was born on 12th October 1955 and the day after, my father was born, on 13th October 1955. Now she works as a PK in Bandar Baru Banting Secondary School. She has natural talents of drawing and sketching, loves literary words; spending most of her spare times doing gardening, and reading a lot! She’s my best friend, I can confer with her about every single thing, even asking about sex (it’s a taboo in Malay culture). Mama was the one who was extremely excited when I told her I found a man of my dream and crazily in loves with him. She’s just fairly supportive when I spoke up my longing to get married as soon as possible (though I don’t have monthly income and still not completing my degree). Her only reaction was a slight flicker of her eyes, and a nod!

Abdul Aziz Bin Jemain
regarded as a King in the chamber of my heart. My father comes from poor family, an ordinary village boy from Kampung Endah in Selangor, gifted a piece of smart brain by God. Graduated in National University of Malaysia after finished his last schooling in Sekolah Alam Shah, Kuala Lumpur and successfully obtained Master of Science from University Of London and Doctor of Philosophy from University of Reading in UK. Excellent academic qualification marked as a turning point in his career. Currently, he’s a distinguished Mathematician, a Professor in faculty of Mathematics. Beneath his nerves, flowing purely Javanese blood. He can speak Javanese language very fluently, listen to his fluency never fails me speechless. None of his children able to “ngomong Jowo” including me. Numerical literacy is his major interest of all times. I call the bread-winner of my family “abah”. Abah got a high hertz of voice (likes nagging us when things go wrong, though it isn’t our fault), he likes doing a sum in his head (often write something on the air by his index finger, I just couldn’t understand, I'd once found a piece of wrinkle dirty tissue-paper, chock-full of numbers and Mathematical symbols, slipped in between the bed and wall in his bedroom), open-minded (he gives total freedom to us to do whatever we fancy, allows me to get married to a man who’s still struggling for his degree in Japan), simple (his income per-month is more than RM10,000, but he doesn’t mind wearing an old looking slipper and low-priced shirt, not driving Mercedes Benz, BMW or luxury cars, he prefers investing the money for his children future, he does anything in reason) .The best thing I should have skilled from him might be his cooking expertise! He can cook very well. In my comfort home, he’s the master chef in the kitchen in preparing special menus for gathering!

My parents got married at early twentieth, very early for graduates at that time, all at once without planning; they got first child during their final year in University. They relied on small sum of scholarships they got to support their family, no one gave a hand in lending money, they were having no way out of enduring financial instability. Their sequence of life was a rags-to-riches story. My mother once told me, if all of her children are alive, the exact numbers were 13!! One passed away after a few days she was born, got a nice name- Nurul Huda, the other two fetuses miscarriaged in her womb. She’s a working mum but her children never lose her care, love, affection as well as attention, never! My mother is the greatest Mama in the world! Abah will always be my Hero ever after!

My Husband:
Muhamad Fahmi Mohd Noor

Family members:
1. Mohammad Firdaus Abdul Aziz.
2. Nurul Izzati Abdul Aziz (Passed away on Friday, 30th March 2009)
(Married to Khirul Hafiz, bestowed a daughter- Ain Sofia Insyirah).
3. Nurul Ulfa Abdul Aziz.
(Married to Mohd Lukman, has two sons- Muhamad Khaizuran, Muhamad Khairin).
4. Afiq Rabani Abdul Aziz.
5. Ainul Ilyani Abdul Aziz (Me).
(Married to Muhamad Fahmi Mohd Noor)
6. Ahmad Anas Abdul Aziz.
7. Ahmad Anis Abdul Aziz.
8. Ainul Adhwani Abdul Aziz.
9. Ashraf Fahmi Abdul Aziz.
10. Azhad khalis Abdul Aziz.

This entry was posted on 26.11.08 at Wednesday, November 26, 2008 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


ani put me put me in ur storyline.
sape sebelah katil yg suke baca buku sejarah lepas bangun tidur..

December 30, 2008 at 8:24 AM

ani, i got new blog already.
u may delete the old one.
view n link my new blog here:


p/s: y i can't post my shout out in ur page? sob sob =) nice to contact u back anyway.

February 16, 2009 at 10:18 PM

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