“Five years are not so long lah ani” .Firdaus murmured with his eyebrow raised a bit above his narrow eyes, emphasized his view after I said “ I want to further my master right after I finish my degree but I’ll be having five years contract of being a teacher in secondary school, It ‘s too long”. Ulfa interrupted,” Mmm, when I reach this stage ,after becoming a mum, I want to be a teacher instead of being a lecturer that has so many things to do especially writing paper”. I kept my mouth shut for a while. It was neither a sign of agreement, nor a sign of protest .Began to think in depth. Firdaus added,” Look at me now, just proceed with your contract then further your master afterwards,don't be too rush, why should you looking for something bigger because you will get it eventually ”. I remained in silent mode, lent my ears to the conversation.But My heart didn't listen to it..

I hate myself for being impatient, always desire something that I don't deserve to have .... :( I just can't stop thinking if my spent times benefit me....