Sleeping in Hospital..  

Posted by ainul ilyani in

Last weekend, I returned home like usual .Going back home every weekend is my routine for this semester though the route from UPSI to my hometown takes more than an hour yet less than 3 hours. I don't mind utilizing a lot of money when it comes to family matters despite price hike is burdening especially for a student like me.Fuel kiosk is the place where much of my money is spent. The moment I arrived at home, I can see my elder-second-sister Ulfa was already there with her husband and cute little boy, Khaizuran. I was taken aback to see her tummy became bigger as her pregnancy added to almost seven months. What a surprise! The last time I had seen her was a few months ago. At that time, she was carrying Khaizuran in front stably without huge belly! Now, her tummy looked so big. Wow! I’m going to have 3 nephews this year. My tiring drive was relieved the moment I saw them sitting in the living room while chatting with mum. We hadn’t seen each other for several months due to busyness of their working schedule as my brother-in-law-Abg Lukman was being busy with working hours from morning till night .They came back home to take “bibik Tutik” who had stayed at our home since last month after arrived from Indonesia .My home never been left in messy because we had got two maids at one time. Now bibik Edang left alone because Bibik Tutik had gone to Terengganu, serving as a maid to my sister’s family.

We had a long conversation before departed to Hospital Kuala Lumpur to visit Izzati in 11th ward. I wrapped up everything to be brought along during my three days of staying in HKL. Traffic congestion in KL caused our car stuck in the midst of hustle-bustle. We forgot that every evening is the time for people rushing home from working places. The dusk appeared right after we reached HKL. We hadn't lost way towards HKL as I was so familiar with the road to HKL because I was used to send Izzati there for several times.I spent two nights of three days from Friday till Sunday in Hospital to accompany my beloved sister; Izzati who underwent continuous chemotherapy .She has taken almost 8 years of treatments to kill off the cancer cells from spreading. :( .However, no sign of full cure. Even the doctor cannot guarantee a full cure .I pretended like everything was fine when I gazed her lying down weakly in the white single bed while sitting on bare chair that regarded as my cosy bed in night, at that moment, my heart never stopped throbbing and palpitating vigorously ...Sometimes I felt like wanted to replace her. At least, I can give her opportunity to live life healthily whereby she can hold her daughter's hand or carry her while she's crying.It’s hard to look at her enduring with malignant cancer. I never stopped praying, please Ya Allah, and give her inner strength to keep on struggling breathing and alive. Please Ya Allah, let her delight in happiness of life .Please Ya Allah, let her husband -Abang Hafiz and her only daughter-Ain Sofia Insyirah basking love with her that lasting for along time. I realised that it was a huge test bestowed by Allah upon her, indicated how deep of HIS love towards her. She has been living years of severe pain which struck her when she still young, had been diagnosis from cancer when she was in my age. Her perseverance did impress me, she inspired me to value the meaning of life .Her smile and laughter sometimes brings tears inside my heart because I'm afraid of loosing her smile. How I wished life would be like I wanted it to be....Astaghfirullahalazim, I’m sorry Ya Allah if I seemed grumbling.... :(

That Saturday night, I saw how painful the patient next to my sister's bed blew her last breath after been living with breast cancer for 15 years. I can't describe how terrified I felt when I observed her struggle to breath in front of my own eyes. She couldn't move at all and her slit eyes had no black pupil seen. Her eyes were pure white and she couldn't even able blinking her eyes .Her tears kept flowing .There was one woman standing besides her, wiped her wet cheeks though her own cheeks were also wet with tears. A few minutes later, I heard the sound of sobbing .I knew, that was the mark of death. An expected death...Stretcher-bearer entered the ward afterwards, on the top of it, lain a dead lady covered with white cloth...She was gone........That night; I cannot sleep because I had a nightmare. A nightmare before I fell asleep... ..

This entry was posted on 28.7.08 at Monday, July 28, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


i am amazed by your sister's courage too.she's totally amazing for being able to endure the test by Him. i'm praying that she'll get cured someday..amin..

September 4, 2008 at 7:17 AM

Thank u Sheryl.. :)..

October 18, 2008 at 6:18 PM

segala kekuatan adalah dari Allah La haula wala kuata illabillahil laiyul azim....terima kasih atas keperihatinan ani...dan sanggup jaga akak....hanya Allah yg mampu membalasnya....doakan kesihatan akak dan kebahgiaan akak dunia dan akhirat....jangan memuji kerana akak takut ujub....moga Allah kurniakan kesabaran yg tak berbelah bagi seperti kepada rasullullah yg di maksudkan dalam surah insyiroh

January 13, 2009 at 1:04 AM

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