Shattered my last hope  

Posted by ainul ilyani in , ,

Thinking about getting transfer is driving me round the bend, really, and never did I cry as if every part of me falling apart into pieces like when I got to know my application had been rejected, this was not the first time. I hold out not even a little hope ever since, KPM took it all, and I don’t want to think about it anymore. I am asking for transferring not because Sabak Bernam is too rural, neither I am an uptown girl in fact part of me is still old-fashioned, nor the place is too horrific because I meet lots of nice people here, you can put me into a shit hole, I’ll be okay as long as I got my hubby or any closed/loved ones to be by my side. Even after surviving to lots of places since my studying years; Kedah, Tanjung Malim, Japan and now in Sabak Bernam, man, this is the only place which by no means caught my heart. All right, next year I‘ll be working real hard to find the reasons of why I should love to be here. Oh, no need as my hubby had already sent his resignation letter to Toshiba and promised to live together like we have dreamed of.

Leaving engineering field to be a full-time insurance agent at Prudential is like a life and death decision, I am just at his back as long as he never does harm to anyone; I let him choose his way. I just believe he can do it with his credibility and very committed, honest and hard working, I pray God he will succeed in everything he does. 

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 I know I can’t expect my journey of life to be smooth sailing, there will be bumpy here and there, ups and down, who say life is a bed or roses! We stuck here in Sabak Bernam but it does not mean we will be here for the entire of our life, we will find ways to be where we want to be. All we know, we have just to move on.

Remember about Ayla got sick, you know I turned out to be bonkers because Ayla seldom got sick, when she got sick, it was freaking scary to see her change into someone else. Well, I am just a first time mommy who got zero experience and easily gets nuts when such thing happens. She kicks and alive, full of beans after that awful week. She can crawl now but she prefers to find things to aid her stand up and pat excitedly. A bubbly tot who likes screaming her heart out loud if she wants to nip, sleep, happy, angry and feel bored. She likes all fruits and veggies! She is losing her fats but still considered a chunky baby because everyone says so. Thanks to her mummy’s creamy milk. It’s fattening! She got what we call: stranger's anxiety, only certain people win her heart especially kids. She will scratch her head and rubs her eyes when she gets drowsy. Recently, she got a grey bump on her right cheeks as she always falls on a prone position at the same part. She bumps and falls a lot that my heart is in my mouth every time she bumps, she cries bloody murder!

I got many wedding invitations which I had to skip some as it held on the same day at a very long distance from one another. I am sorry for those I could not make it especially those who brought joy to my Big day back then.


This entry was posted on 9.12.11 at Friday, December 09, 2011 and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


ani really? all the best..nanti balik kita chit chat ye...

December 10, 2011 at 10:18 PM

Yeah ;). Tunggu pengerusi arrange family meeting, senyap je bos besar tu! Hehe ;B

December 11, 2011 at 4:40 PM

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