Recently, I went to clinic to bear out I am really pregnant, for the third time of doing UPT, double red lines appeared rapidly right after I peed on UPT kit and the doctor said the due date maybe on 28th March 2011. 

Many people asked me when I am going to have a baby at early of my marriage that sometimes I tried to avoid such a question, now, I tell the truth, I did natural family planning for one year strictly without taking any contraceptives and I stopped it when I went to Japan in the mid of May this year. For us, family planning is very important. As my monthly period is regular, I know there’s something happened to my body system when July menses did not come right after I came back to Malaysia. I was not expected that getting pregnant could be that easy for me. I have every reason of doing family planning beforehand, top of it, because of my health and condition that I had no guts to take risk, a year ago, I was doing my final year in a very stress environment and being miles away from my loved ones with bad health condition that I often fell sick. My Hubby was very worried about me, when I said I wanted to stop family planning because I did not want to procrastinate a wonderful moment of being a mum any longer, my hubby asked me the same question again and again,  

“Are you ready dear? I will not be by your side and you will have to face it all alone”. I convinced him by saying, 


“ Abang, My heart said no more procrastinating, we never know whether we can produce ones or not, it’s been a year of our marriage, I had finished my degree and I think I would get posted to Selangor (I was not sure where was my first posting at that time)”, at least I will stay close with our families, don’t worry, I can handle it, pray hard dear”.

Before I know I was pregnant, I have been so restless since I have to do everything on my own, even to drive my car everywhere I go, drag big and heavy bags from one place to another place while waiting for a permanent house to rent, sip some Coke and air tebu that I just know such drinks are not good for pregnant woman and baby as well, travel to many places such as Japan, to KK airport, Sabak Bernam all alone. After five weeks of pregnant, the UPT said positive, I limit my active mode; moreover, I started to feel pain at abdominal part which I learn it might be due to “Round ligament pain”. 

On last Tuesday, I went to Pusat kesihatan in Kampung Parit Paru, Sabak Bernam to have my first medical-check under government hospital, Alone, and again. I asked PK1 permission as I was told by locals that medical check-up for pregnant women is only available on Wednesday so I have no choice unless to take a short leave during my school, I choose periods of no classes to go out for a while. I dropped by at wrong building that I was so sure it was Klinik Kesihatan as locals said it is near the mosque, the lady in the counter thought it was funny, she smirked and showed me a right direction to Klinik which is actually situated behind the mosque. A red card was made for me, interview, check from head to toe, they took my urine, they took my blood twice and I got fainted and vomited, I felt so weak then they got myself a glass of glucose. They said that my body heat was so hot that I might suffer from fever and I told them that I was okay. They checked my temperature, it was 37C, see, I knew I was not fever.They asked me who accompanied me, when they knew I was there alone, they asked me to take a rest because it is dangerous to drive a car. They wanted to inject me for a third time to put some water as I might be dehydrated or having conjunctiva but I refused. I told her  


I knew I looked so pathetic that they abide by my request. Then, I told a nurse there that I really need some food, I passed a piece of red note to the nurse. She bought some food and brought me to nurse room to have my meal. I could feel that the energy sipped into my body while gobbling up my food. The nurse asked me what was my previous weight before I got pregnant, I said 38kg and now I am 44 kg with the height 163.8 cm, she replied  

“Oh, memang asalnye kecik ye”.

I was considered normal as when I pregnant, my weight increased and my BP is normal. Alhamdulillah. The doctor has to wait for me, I was among the earliest patient to come yet I was the last patient to be checked. I told the doctor why I often defecate,  she said my fetus may press the intestines and bladder. I received 4 types of pills, all are supplements. 

It’s been two-months of pregnancy on the dot since yesterday, I thought I would not have bad symptoms but again, my prediction was wrong. Yesterday, while eating eggs with bread, I vomited. Now, I have to go through the first trimester 'misery' such as abdominal bloating, nausea, morning sickness, vomiting and increased sensitivity to certain odors, fatigue, and swollen breasts.

The only thing that can soothe my misery is by reading this hadith again and again apart from feeding myself with any information regarding pregnancy. Even though it's tough , I will never give up to have more babies in the future.

It is mentioned in another Hadith that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Does it not please you (O Women!) that when you conceive from your husbands while he is pleased with you then that woman will receive such reward equal to that of a fasting person in the path of Allah and spending the night in ibaadat. When her labour pains commence the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, and if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of her child, she will receive the reward of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, delicately natured but yet are obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them." 

Come to grips Ani! Move on with life. Stay strong, Redha, tawakal and Grateful! Moga Kaffarah.