Salam. Hi there! Sorry. I have been in an inactive mode for quite some times, how long was that? 3 months! Does it long enough to make you predict that I am going to shut down my web? No way! Is that clear (^_^) .
I am now whiling away my long holidays in Japan after a few months of not seeing my dear Hubby. It is such a great pleasure indeed that I feel like not going back to Malaysia this July because I do not want to be by myself, I cannot bear the absence of my hubby in adjusting with new environment. The fact that I have to work persuades me to stay the course. That was my Abah’s wish, he has once said,
“You have to stand on your own two feet, do not be too dependent on your husband, you must work. In case anything happens, you are able to handle yourself. Mmm. . It’s not that you cannot trust your husband. We never know what will happen in the future. Well, nobody knows how long your husband will be still alive and kicking. I have a friend who suddenly died and left his wife together with a bunch of kids. She has no car license, with many kids to take care of; she has to start from a scratch, get the car license at old age”
My mind was brooding over the statement of
“in case anything happens” as I was certainly sure that Abah signified more than he intended to say. Somehow, I thought of a single meaning that I hoped Abah would directly state,
“in case ….you divorce and your husband leave you”.
Yet, I anticipated Abah would not go straightly to the point without mulling over the right words, filtering the words which might sound a little bit harsh to speaking sensitive issue. And, I am a sensitive one! Definitely, he did. I kept silent though I wanted to tell Abah so badly my real answer but I ended up shutting my mouth as I tongued-tied. I always contradict to his saying, I always argued him long time ago that I might have hurt his feelings. This time, I swore, I will say something if I agree, I will keep quite if I disagree. My heart came up with one consent,
“I will work but I can’t promise that I’ll be staying in the teaching line forever”
Somehow, I know before I embark on my secret dreams, I need modal, the modal means money and how will I get the money is by working. What sort of job I should do must align with my ability and go well with my condition. Teaching is the best starting-point. First, I have academic qualification, specifically in teaching field regardless I am not that good, but it is a ticket for me to go further in my career that I should be grateful because not everybody has a degree, God gives it to me and I was selected to have it, HE does not want me to take it for granted hence to make a full use of it. Secondly, millions of people out there face difficulties to get into schools, becoming permanent teachers, even more worst, only few get the chance especially those KPLIs. It is hard for me to simply let go the chance just like that! I was like an“ anak emas’ throughout years of studying as my university fees has been fully paid, easily get the jobs right after I completed my studies, no time of being jobless, and get many privileges to be in government services since my husband told me that he will not be working under government service so, at least either one. Thirdly, I have 5-years contract in which I will have to pay back thousands of ringgits if I break the contract!
I’ll be start working very soon, in July. I was clueless where I will get posted, but one thing calms down my mixed feelings is that I already went to Putrajaya to change my status from single to married in the posting form. I handed in a marriage certificate as a proof and also a formal letter applying to be posted around Selangor with some reasons. I pray hard that I will not be thrown over the foreign place far away from my loved ones. No more, please. Oh dear, I only Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. That’s it!